Slower, Wealthier, Happier

Good morning, beautiful. ☀️✨

Earlier this week, on Taco Tuesday, what was supposed to be a simple couples lunch date with one of my best friends and her husband turned into a lesson I did not know I needed again. My husband had planned the outing, but somewhere along the way the plans changed, and then came the part I was absolutely not prepared for: he asked me to drive. And when I tell you I did not want to drive, I mean I did not want to drive. He wasn’t feeling well, and while that was true, there was also a part of me that was frustrated because some of what led to him not feeling well came from overworking himself instead of doing some of the work the day before, which I had suggested. So now, in my mind, his decision had somehow become my obligation. And I felt trapped.

We picked up our friends, and within the first few minutes of the car ride, my husband and I were in a heated discussion about the fact that I was driving. When I looked at my friends, they were laughing, but also looking like their nervous systems had left their bodies because apparently I was driving like I had somewhere VERY important to be. SMH. It was not funny in the moment, but looking back, it is a little funny. Mostly because I can see so clearly now what I could not see then. I could have simply said no. We did not have to go. The plans could have changed again. Everybody would have survived.

But there were so many emotions moving through me at once that I did not pause long enough to locate myself. I did not ask, “What do I actually have capacity for right now?” I did not ask, “What choice will allow me to stay connected to the peace I have worked so hard to create?” Instead, I moved straight from feeling obligated into action and then became angry that I was doing something I had agreed to do. That part is mine. Not his. Not my friends’. Mine. I am in control of me and me alone, and sometimes that means recognizing that “no” is a complete and loving decision.

What I am learning is that capacity matters. Knowing what will and will not work for me matters. Setting expectations matters. And pausing matters. I have worked very hard to create more calm in my life, so when I am the one who steps outside of the boundaries I created, it can feel especially disappointing. But I do not want awareness to become another reason to punish myself. I want awareness to become information. Information that says, “Treshelle, next time, pause. Check in with yourself. You do not have to make a decision from pressure just because the moment feels urgent.”

So this morning, I am forgiving myself. Not excusing what happened, but forgiving myself for dishonoring my own peace in that moment. I am reminding myself that one messy car ride does not erase all of the work I have done. It simply showed me where the work still needs practice. And maybe that is the lesson: peace is not something I find once and never lose again. It is something I choose, over and over, especially in the moments when everything in me wants to react first and think later.

Today, I am choosing to trust myself enough to say no when no is what I mean. I am choosing to honor my capacity before resentment has the chance to speak for me. And I am choosing to forgive myself when I miss the moment, learn from it, and try again. Because growth does not always look like getting it right the first time. Sometimes growth looks like recognizing sooner, recovering faster, and loving yourself enough to make a different choice next time.

Love,

Your Most Magical Self ✨