Slower, Wealthier, Happier

Good morning, beautiful. ☀️

It has been a couple of weeks since I have written anything, and honestly, I think I needed the space more than I realized.

Healing has a way of making you quiet.

Not just physically quiet, but emotionally quiet too. The kind of quiet where your thoughts get louder than normal. The kind where the middle of the night feels longer than usual. The kind where your body is recovering but your mind is racing with questions you are not even sure how to answer yet.

Yesterday I was scrolling through TikTok and came across a celebrity who, depending on the day, can be in the news for either positive or negative reasons. But this particular video was different. It showed clips of her over more than a decade repeatedly saying she was going to accomplish something huge. And the thing she was talking about was not even connected to the space she was currently famous in. It was a completely different dream. A completely different lane. But year after year after year she kept saying it anyway.

“This is my goal.”
“I’m going to do it.”
“I’m going to have it.”

And this month… she finally did.

Watching that thing come full circle inspired me in a way I cannot fully explain.

Not because she is a celebrity. Not even because of the actual accomplishment itself. But because of the commitment to stay the course while not fully knowing how to get there.

Whew.

That part touched me deeply.

Because over these last 60 days of recovery, I have questioned so many things. I have questioned my business. I have questioned whether I will get new contracts. I have questioned whether what I do matters to people. I have questioned whether I will ever make more than I have made before. I have questioned my capabilities, my expertise, my future, my body, my timing… honestly, everything.

And the hard part is those moments are usually not loud moments.

Those are not moments where people are surrounding you cheering you on. Those moments happen in silence. In the middle of the night. In pain. In discomfort. In stillness. In the moments where your mind starts asking questions your spirit is trying hard not to answer out of fear.

And it is incredibly difficult in those moments to stay committed to the vision you once had for yourself.

Especially when you do not fully know how to get there.

If you know me, then you know I love structure. I am absolutely the “show me the blueprint and I’ll make it happen” kind of woman. But some dreams are so large that there is no blueprint available yet. Some visions are so far beyond your current reality that you cannot even fully explain them out loud without sounding ridiculous.

And yet… they still live inside of you anyway.

That video reminded me that sometimes the miracle is not just the accomplishment. Sometimes the miracle is the willingness to keep saying yes to a vision before you fully understand how it will come together.

And lately I have realized something else too.

I have been less stressed… but I have still been deeply concerned.

Concerned about timing.
Concerned about answers.
Concerned about opportunities.
Concerned about whether the things I desire will actually come forward.

But this week I decided I want to shift from concerned to curious.

Curious about how it will happen.
Curious about who I will become.
Curious about the tiny steps and unexpected doors that may lead me exactly where I am supposed to go.

And honestly? That shift feels lighter.

Turning 50 has absolutely changed the way I see life. It has been freeing and confronting all at once. Because while I am incredibly grateful, I also recognize I am not yet where I hoped I would be by now. I did not have a blueprint for 50. Truthfully, I did not even have one for 40.

But maybe life was never asking me to have all the answers.

Maybe it was simply asking me to stay the course long enough to watch the vision unfold.

And today, that feels possible again. 🌿✨

Love,
Your Most Magical Self 💫