Slower, Wealthier, Happier

Two years ago, I was sitting with a girlfriend, wine glass in hand, casually talking about “what’s next.” My husband and I had been tossing around ideas about our future home. At the time, my vision was very binary: either we stay put until we can afford our forever home, or… well, there really was no “or.” In my mind, forever home was the next stop.

Later that same day, my community hosted a small wine and cheese event. Nothing fancy — just one of those cozy, “let’s celebrate the people who live here” gatherings. I love a good conversation, and community is one of my deepest values, so of course we went.

Somewhere between the cheese platter and a refill of red wine, one of the community workers casually dropped a suggestion: “You know, you could always move into a larger space here. There are options you might not have considered yet.”

At that moment, her words went in one ear and out the other. I smiled politely, but my brain was already closing the door. Larger space? A different kind of move? Nope. That didn’t fit into my fixed idea of “forever home or bust.”

Fast forward a year. The suggestion hadn’t crossed my mind again — not once. But during another conversation with the same girlfriend, I found myself joking: “Oh, I’d move if it was next door, had brand-new appliances, a big pantry, fresh carpet, and of course it had to cost me less. Basically, it would need to be impossible.”

I laughed at my own list because it sounded ridiculous. Who asks for all that and expects it to show up?

But here’s the thing: fast forward another nine months, and I am sitting in my new home. With all of those “impossible” things. Every single one.

New carpet. New appliances. Bigger pantry. Just next door. Less expensive. Everything I thought was out of reach was suddenly, unbelievably, mine.

And I realized: the only thing that changed was me. I finally honored what truly served me. I gave myself permission to want what I wanted without dismissing it as impossible. And in that space, life delivered.

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Honoring What Serves You Is the Gateway to Receiving

Here’s the truth: we often block our own blessings because we dismiss our desires before they ever get a chance to breathe. We tell ourselves it’s too much, too silly, too selfish, too unlikely. We shrink what we want down to what feels “reasonable,” and in the process, we shut off the flow of receiving.

Honoring what serves you is not about being greedy. It’s about being aligned. It’s about saying:

• This is what I actually need to feel supported.
  
  
• This is what I truly want to experience in my life.
  
  
• This is what would feel yummy, cozy, and life-giving for me right now.
  
  

When you honor that, you open the door for it to come to you. And more importantly, you open the door for yourself to receive it.

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How to Know What Truly Serves You

So how do you figure out what truly serves you?

Here are three steps I’ve found to be powerful:

1. Listen to your body before your logic.
   Your nervous system will tell you the truth faster than your rational brain. If something brings tension, tightness, or dread, it probably doesn’t serve you. If it feels light, expansive, and like a deep exhale, it’s pointing you toward what does.
   
   
2. Name your “impossible” list.
   Just like I did with my joking laundry list of must-haves. Write down what you really want — the things you’re scared to say out loud. Don’t edit. Don’t shrink. Just write it.
   
   
3. Look for alignment, not approval.
   Honoring yourself doesn’t require a committee vote. You don’t need everyone to agree it’s a good idea. The only stamp of approval you need is your own.
   
   

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Why Honoring Yourself Isn’t Selfish

Let’s be real: as women — especially Black women — we’ve been conditioned to put everyone else first. Family, work, community, church, kids, partners… we’re professional givers. And while generosity is beautiful, living in over-giving mode leaves us depleted.

The truth is, you serve others better when you are well-served yourself. A nourished, supported, honored you can give from overflow. A neglected, dismissed, overextended you gives from scraps.

Choosing to honor yourself is not selfish. It’s strategic. It’s wealth in action.

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Receiving Begins With Allowing

When I finally stopped dismissing my desires as “too much” and started honoring them, I could see the possibilities that had been there all along. The new space didn’t magically appear out of nowhere — I just became available to receive it.

This is how receiving works:

• First, you allow yourself to want.
  
  
• Then, you give yourself permission to honor that desire.
  
  
• And finally, you stay open enough to receive when life brings it to your door.
  
  

It’s not about being lucky. It’s about being aligned.

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Reader Reflection

Take a moment to sit with these questions:

1. What’s one desire you’ve been dismissing as “impossible” that actually lights you up?
   
   
2. How can you honor yourself more fully this month — in your money, your joy, or your time?
   
   
3. What would it look like for you to receive more easefully, without apology?
   
   

Share your reflections in the comments below — I’d love to hear. And if you want to go deeper with women walking this same journey, join me inside Wealthy Women Conversations on Facebook. That’s where we’re talking about these things in real-time, together.

✨ This is your soft invitation into December: a reminder that you can receive more by honoring what truly serves you. Not later. Not someday. But right now.