I have a really good good girlfriend. And yes — I’m using two goods because one good is not enough.
We’ve been friends for nearly 20 years, and when I say she has always had a way with money, I mean it. Money seemed to follow her like a puppy. It showed up for her often, sometimes in big waves. I’ve literally been in her home, helping her organize papers, and stumbled across uncashed checks — and not little ones either. Checks from months ago. Checks she forgot about.
And I would just stare at her like,
“Girl… what is wrong with you?!”
We all had the same reaction. Friends, family, anyone who knew her would wonder why she didn’t just cash the check or deposit it on the spot. But that was her life — money flowed to her easily. And yet…
She always seemed to have money challenges.
Not in the sense that she was broke — she wasn’t. But there was this strange and constant tension between having money and being financially whole. It was like she could catch money in her hands, but it slipped through her fingers just as quickly.
The Early Years of Watching Wealth in Motion
When I met her, I was in my late 20s. I had just graduated from undergrad and moved back home. I’d started going to church again, and one Sunday, I saw her. Tall, vibrant, magnetic. She was older than me, well-traveled, well-educated, and she carried herself like she owned the room — not in a loud way, but in a way that made you lean in when she spoke.
From the moment I saw her, I said to myself, She’s going to be my friend.
And I committed to that. I latched on.
She mentored me through two master’s degrees, encouraged me to buy my first home, celebrated my marriage, and was there for milestone after milestone. She pushed me to see life beyond my bubble — to travel internationally, to experience fine dining, to understand the value of investing in experiences. She drove luxury cars, joined country clubs, and for one of my birthdays, gifted me a timeshare.
From the outside looking in, she had it all together. Money seemed to come when she needed it. She could buy what she wanted, travel where she wanted, and live how she wanted.
So imagine my confusion when, year after year, there were still major financial struggles.
The Pattern I Didn’t See at First
For years, I thought, If she just managed her money better, she’d be set.
And yes, financial habits matter — but as I got older, as I became more self-aware, and as I started examining my own patterns with money, I began to see something deeper.
This wasn’t just about budgeting.
It wasn’t about income — she made great money.
It wasn’t about access — she had resources, networks, and support.
It was about mental health.
Mental Health: The Silent Factor in Wealth
Nobody really talks about it, but I’ve learned that your mental and emotional state can be the deciding factor in your financial success. It can multiply your wealth… or it can quietly drain it.
Mental health influences:
- The decisions you make under pressure
- Your ability to follow through on plans
- Your tolerance for delayed gratification
- How you handle setbacks
- Whether you can sustain good habits over time
I’ve watched my friend earn more and more over the years — promotions, big contracts, major opportunities — and yet, the financial stability she desired never seemed to stick. Not because she was irresponsible or didn’t care, but because mental health challenges made it difficult to maintain the consistency, focus, and capacity required to let her money grow and compound.
Why This Matters for All of Us
I want to be clear — this is not a story about “fixing” anyone. My friend is still one of the most inspiring, incredible women I know. She’s resourceful, kind, and endlessly giving. But her story is a real reminder that if your mind and emotions are in constant chaos, your money will reflect that.
And this isn’t just for people with diagnosed mental health conditions.
Even those of us who consider ourselves “mentally healthy” can have seasons where our capacity dips.
Grief. Burnout. Overwhelm. Anxiety.
They can all show up in our bank accounts.
When we’re depleted mentally:
- We avoid opening bills or checking balances
- We delay important financial decisions
- We spend emotionally, trying to “buy” relief or joy
- We miss deadlines that cost us fees or opportunities
The flip side is also true:
When we’re in a healthy mental space, we’re more creative, strategic, and disciplined with our money. We follow through. We see opportunities clearly. We’re less reactive and more intentional.
Slower, Wealthier, Happier Requires Wholeness
If we’re serious about living a slower, wealthier, happier life, we can’t ignore this. Mental wholeness isn’t just a “nice-to-have” — it’s a core financial strategy.
Because when your mind is stable:
- You have the bandwidth to set and stick to long-term goals
- You make decisions from a place of clarity, not crisis
- You can actually enjoy the wealth you’re building without sabotaging it
We’ve been taught to think of wealth in purely financial terms — income, investments, assets. But I’ve learned there’s a wealth you can’t see on a spreadsheet. It’s the wealth of mental and emotional stability. And without it, the visible kind of wealth rarely lasts.
An Invitation to Check In With Yourself
So as we step into October, I want to invite you to look inward.
Not with judgment. Not with shame. But with honesty.
Ask yourself:
“How has my current mental and emotional state influenced my money decisions over the past month?”
Soft Challenge for This Week
Write down three ways your current mental state has helped or hindered your money decisions in the last 30 days. Be honest, be specific, and don’t overthink it.
This isn’t about fixing everything today — it’s about seeing clearly where your mind and money are working together… and where they might be pulling in different directions.
As we go through this month’s series, I’ll share more stories, tools, and shifts that can help you strengthen both — your mental wholeness and your financial stability — so they can work as partners in building your slower, wealthier, happier life.
💬 I’d love to hear your thoughts and your three reflections from this week’s challenge inside my Facebook group. Join us in Wealthy Women Conversations — it’s where these stories turn into real, life-changing dialogue.
#SlowerWealthierHappier #MindAndMoney #WealthyWomenConversations
Slower, Wealthier, Happier 
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