I’ll admit this up front: I still catch myself doing it.
A friend recently reached into the car to help me unload something. It was light. It wasn’t a big deal. And yet—I found myself saying, “I got it, I got it, I got it.”
She gently backed off with a little smirk, and I knew.
That was the old training still showing up.
Even after all the healing, learning, and receiving I’ve leaned into, sometimes the reflex still speaks before I do.
Because for so many of us—especially as women, especially as Black women—receiving is not our default.
Our default is managing. Helping. Taking care. Hustling.
Our default is earning what we get, not opening up to what wants to arrive.
But Here’s the Thing…
You can’t manifest a soft life and then tense up every time life tries to hand you softness.
You can’t ask for overflow and then resist the trickle.
You can’t say you’re ready to receive and then tell life, “No thanks, I got it.”
And most of the time, it’s not even conscious.
We don’t realize we’re saying “no.”
It’s automatic. Cultural. Emotional. Nervous-system-deep.
So today, we’re going to gently pull back the curtain and ask:
Am I actually open to receiving? Or am I quietly resisting it in the smallest, everyday ways?
Seven Subtle Signs You Might Be Resisting Receiving
Let’s go through each one—with examples.
You might see yourself in one. You might see yourself in all seven.
There’s no shame here—only awareness, which is the beginning of healing.
1. You Deflect Compliments
This one is so common it feels like a ritual.
- Someone says: “You look amazing!”
- You respond: “This old thing? Girl, I got it on clearance.”
You downplay.
You redirect.
You explain.
But what if you just said:
“Thank you.”
Full stop. Smile. Let it land.
✨ Receiving Tip: The next time someone compliments you, pause. Breathe. Say thank you. That’s it.
2. You Decline Help—Even When You Need It
Help is offered. You say no.
Why?
Because accepting help makes you feel guilty. Or lazy. Or weak.
You’ve been taught that independence is sacred. That needing help is failure. That no one’s coming, so don’t rely on anyone.
But guess what? Sometimes people offer because they love you.
And saying yes is not a burden—it’s a blessing.
✨ Receiving Tip: This week, say “yes” at least once when someone offers support—even if it feels uncomfortable.
3. You Feel the Need to “Pay People Back” Immediately
A friend treats you to lunch and you’re already planning how to return the favor.
Not because you want to—but because you feel obligated.
You’ve convinced yourself that generosity is a transaction.
But true receiving doesn’t come with a price tag.
It’s not about “evening the score.” It’s about allowing yourself to be poured into—just because.
✨ Receiving Tip: Notice where you feel pressure to “balance the scales” after kindness. Can you sit in the gift instead?
4. You Over-Apologize for Existing Needs
- “I’m sorry I need a little help.”
- “Sorry, I know I’m asking for a lot.”
- “Sorry to bother you…”
Every sentence is soaked in apology.
But your needs are not a burden. You’re not too much.
Asking is not demanding. It’s human.
✨ Receiving Tip: Replace “sorry” with “thank you.” Try: “Thank you for holding space” instead of “Sorry for venting.”
5. You Only Feel Valuable When You’re Doing Something
If you’re not being productive, helpful, useful—you feel off.
You struggle to rest.
You feel guilty during downtime.
You don’t trust that your worth exists outside of your output.
But your value is not in your hustle.
It’s in your being, not just your doing.
✨ Receiving Tip: Take a day off and don’t fill it with tasks. See what comes up—and give yourself compassion through it.
6. You Dismiss Opportunities That Feel “Too Good”
- Someone offers to promote your work for free
- A new client says yes without haggling
- You’re invited into a room you didn’t expect
And your first thought is:
“Why me? What’s the catch?”
But maybe… there is no catch.
Maybe it’s just your season to receive.
But your nervous system hasn’t caught up yet.
✨ Receiving Tip: When goodness shows up unexpectedly, try whispering: “Yes. I receive that.”
7. You Downplay Your Desires to Make Others Comfortable
You want more money.
A softer life.
Help. Love. A chef. A housekeeper. A team.
But you catch yourself saying:
- “I mean, I don’t need much.”
- “I’m fine with whatever.”
- “I just want enough to get by.”
No you don’t. You want more.
But you’ve been trained to shrink your wants so you don’t appear greedy or ungrateful.
✨ Receiving Tip: Write down one thing you desire—without editing, shrinking, or explaining it away.
Why This Matters for Slower, Wealthier, Happier Living
This blog is not about the next productivity hack.
It’s not about working harder, proving more, or being “good enough.”
It’s about pausing long enough to tell yourself the truth.
You might be blocking the very thing you’ve been praying for.
Not because you’re broken. But because you’ve been conditioned to do so.
That conditioning can be unlearned.
You can open.
You can soften.
You can receive.
Journal Prompts for Gentle Unblocking
Take some quiet time this week to journal your answers:
- Which of the seven receiving blocks do I recognize in myself?
- What do I believe might happen if I fully received help, compliments, money, or rest?
- Where did I learn that it’s safer to give than to receive?
- What does receiving look and feel like in my dream life?
Wealth Whisper Tip 💸
Your receiving muscles grow when you stop explaining, shrinking, or apologizing for what’s already yours.
Come Practice Receiving in Community
The Wealthy Women Conversations Facebook group is where this blog turns into real life.
We’re talking through these blocks. We’re practicing softness. We’re learning to say yes, without guilt.
Come sit with us.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
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Slower, Wealthier, Happier 
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