The Fear of Getting Everything You Asked For

I want to tell you a story that might not seem like it’s about money.
But I promise you—it is.

When I was young, I was what people called a “pretty” child.

Soft-spoken.
Well-mannered.
Dainty.
Polite.
The kind of child people praised just for standing still.

I had beautiful skin, long hair, and an energy that made people outside of my family want to pour into me—give me candy, a few dollars, small gifts.

Not in a weird or unsafe way.
Just in that Southern Black-community, “Aww baby, come here, let me give you something” kind of way.

But I remember the exact moment that part of me shut down.

The Day Receiving Became Dangerous

Someone gave me something—candy, maybe a dollar, I can’t even remember.

What I do remember is what came next.

My mother, who I love and who I know was trying to protect me, said something that would stay with me for years:

“Be careful thinking your prettiness is going to get you everything.
Pretty doesn’t last. Look at your Aunt—she was the pretty one, and after that car accident, she didn’t get special treatment anymore.”

Now as an adult, I can hear the intention behind her words.
She wanted to protect me. From being taken advantage of. From believing that appearance equals value. From thinking that life would be fair just because I was pleasant to look at.

But as a child?
What I heard was: Receiving makes me unsafe.

That I would be punished or harmed if I let life give to me.
That something bad could happen if I was too open, too trusting, too available.
That receiving is dangerous.

That Was the Day I Decided I’d Rather Earn Than Receive

I stopped letting people give freely to me.
I tried to prove I was more than “pretty.”
I stopped accepting favors.
I worked harder.
I talked less.
I made sure that nothing I got came without effort, sweat, and sacrifice.

Because I believed that if I didn’t work for it, then someone could take it from me. Or worse—it meant I wasn’t safe to have it at all.

And here’s the truth: that belief followed me into adulthood.

This Is the Unspoken Fear:

What if I actually get everything I asked for… and it costs me something I’m not ready to lose?

We fear success not because we can’t handle the blessing,
but because we still associate blessings with consequences.

If you get more money, will people think you’re greedy?
If life gets easy, will the rug be pulled from under you?
If you say yes to receiving, will someone expect something in return?
If you become “too much,” will the people you love still accept you?

So instead of opening up, we perform. We overwork. We try to earn what’s already been offered.

Because we think that safety lives in control, not in trust.

Receiving Is an Act of Trust

Let me say this loud:

Receiving is not a weakness. It’s a sacred agreement with the Universe.
You show up. You stay open. And you allow the goodness you asked for to arrive—on time and without guilt.

But if we’re carrying childhood messaging that told us:

“Be careful taking too much.”
“Don’t get used to nice things.”
“You have to deserve it.”
“Pretty doesn’t last.”

Then receiving will never feel natural.
It’ll feel risky.
It’ll feel foreign.
It’ll feel like the beginning of loss instead of the beginning of overflow.

Slower, Wealthier, Happier Means We Unpack This Gently

This blog isn’t about hustle.
It’s about healing.
It’s about noticing the invisible weight we’ve been carrying.

And in this moment, I want to tell you what I had to tell my younger self:

You are safe to receive.
You are not responsible for shrinking to make others feel comfortable.
You don’t have to earn every dollar, gift, compliment, or blessing.
You don’t need to trade beauty, brilliance, or energy for approval.
You can have everything you asked for and still be safe.

Receiving Doesn’t Mean You’re Taking Too Much

The fear of receiving comes with a whisper: “Don’t be greedy.”

But can I offer you a reframe?

Receiving doesn’t mean someone else gets less.
It means you’re saying yes to what’s already been assigned to you.

Whether that’s:

Peace
Money
Support
Help
Beauty
Love
Opportunities

You don’t need to trade labor for life.
You don’t need to prove you’re worthy to be safe.

Journal Prompts: Let’s Unpack This Together

When was the first time I was told (directly or indirectly) that receiving made me unsafe or selfish?
Where am I still overworking in order to “deserve” what I want?
What do I believe might happen if I let life become too good, too easy, too full?
What is one small, safe way I can practice receiving this week without guilt?

Wealth Whisper Tip 💸

If your nervous system still associates blessings with danger, your job is not to push harder—it’s to heal deeper.

The life you want isn’t waiting for you to earn it.
It’s waiting for you to feel safe enough to say yes.

Ready to Do This Work in Community?

We’re doing this work inside the Wealthy Women Conversations Facebook group—
a free, private space for women over 40 learning to receive joyfully, earn intentionally, and live in full bloom.

We laugh, we cry, we heal, and we unlearn the lies together.

✨ Join the community here

#SlowerWealthierHappier #TheMonthOfReceiving #ReceivingWithoutFear #WealthyWomenConversations #BlackWomenAndMoney #MoneyHealing #EnergeticWealth #WealthWhispers #UnlearningLack #ReceiveWithEase #AbundanceWork #NervousSystemAndMoney

Slower, Wealthier, Happier