Slower, Wealthier, Happier

There’s a question that still echoes in my soul like a bell:
“What is it that you really want?”

It came from my very first money mentor—a man who didn’t teach from spreadsheets and stats, but from the place of deep inquiry.

I met him at a three-day seminar, and from the moment we walked in, he started asking that question.

Not once.
Not twice.
Not politely during introductions.

Over. And over. And over.

By the end of that weekend, he must’ve asked the room at least 50 times:

“What is it that you really want?”

And at first, I thought:
Sir, you asked that already. I wrote it down. Can we move on?

But he wouldn’t move on.
And I’m so glad he didn’t.

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You Think You Know What You Want—Until You Hear Yourself Say It Out Loud

The first time I answered that question, I gave a polished, professional response.
Something like, “I want financial security. I want to serve others. I want to leave a legacy.”

Sounds good, right?
But the truth?

That answer wasn’t from my heart—it was from my conditioning.
It was what I thought I was allowed to want.

But by the second day, after he had asked the question again (and again), something shifted.
I started to notice the shoulds in my answer.

I should want more education so I can get a better job.
I should say I want to help people so it doesn’t sound selfish.
I shouldn’t say I want money just because I want it.

And that’s when the truth started rising in me.

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I Didn’t Want to Earn More—I Wanted to Receive More

And that… was radical.

To admit—even quietly, even to myself—that I wanted to receive just because I existed?

That I wanted to be paid because my presence is powerful?
That I wanted to be compensated without needing to overwork, over-give, or over-prove?

Whew.

That cracked something wide open in me.

Because like most women—especially Black women—I had been trained to believe that:

💰 Money must be earned
🧍🏾‍♀️ Value must be proven
🛠️ Support must be deserved
💔 Rest must be justified

And because of that, I wasn’t open to receiving.
I was just good at earning.

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Let’s Break This Down Like You’re 9 Years Old:

Earning and Receiving Are NOT the Same Thing.

Here’s how I wish someone had explained it to me:

💼 EARNING = You do something, and then you get something.

• You work the hours, and you get the paycheck.
  
• You provide the service, and someone pays you.
  
• You clean the house, and you get thanked or praised.
  

Earning is transactional.
It’s cause and effect.

💖 RECEIVING = You open your hands… and let something good land there.

• A friend pays for your lunch because they love you.
  
• Someone offers you help, and you say yes without guilt.
  
• A blessing shows up—unexpectedly—and you don’t try to shrink from it.
  

Receiving is relational.
It’s based on being, not doing.

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So Why Are We Addicted to Earning?

Because earning feels controlled.

You get to decide:

• How much you work
  
• How hard you go
  
• How good you are
  
• What you “deserve”
  

But receiving? Whew. That’s vulnerable.

Receiving means:

• Letting go of control
  
• Trusting someone else’s timing, generosity, or care
  
• Allowing yourself to be seen in your needs instead of just your gifts
  

And that’s where the deeper question comes in:

Are you open to receiving?
Or are you just addicted to being in control?

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You Can’t Receive What You Don’t Feel Safe With

It wasn’t that I didn’t want blessings—I did.
But my nervous system (remember that from article 2?) had been trained to only feel safe when I was the one doing the giving.

So when money, rest, love, or help tried to come toward me…

I’d question it.
I’d reject it.
I’d try to “pay it back.”

Because I hadn’t learned how to hold goodness that I didn’t work for.

That’s the core of the receiving wound:

If I didn’t hustle for it, maybe I don’t deserve it.

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Let Me Be Clear: You Deserve It Just Because You’re Here

You don’t need to be more educated to receive.
You don’t need to be more exhausted.
You don’t need to be more perfect.
You don’t need to do one more thing.

You deserve to be blessed just because you exist.

That’s not lazy.
That’s not unrealistic.
That’s not selfish.

That’s your birthright.

And the moment you start believing that—even a little bit—you start making room for a different kind of life.

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Journal Prompt: Let’s Get Real

Take time this week to explore this in your journal:

1. What have I been taught about earning that might be limiting my ability to receive?
   
2. Where in my life am I trying to control everything instead of letting good things come to me?
   
3. What would it feel like to receive without doing anything to earn it?
   
4. Can I identify one small area where I’m ready to shift from earning to receiving this week?
   

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Wealth Whisper Tip 💸

Receiving is not laziness. It’s leadership. It says: I trust life to be good to me, even when I’m not performing.

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This Work Is Better in Community

This isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a heart shift.
And you don’t have to make it alone.

Come join us inside the Wealthy Women Conversations Facebook group, where we’re learning how to:

• Stop overperforming
  
• Start receiving
  
• Heal money wounds
  
• And build a life rooted in ease and wealth
  

✨ Come take your seat at the table

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