Slower, Wealthier, Happier

Revisiting the Core Values That Got You Here

There are moments that don’t ask you to grow—
They ask you to remember.

To slow down just enough to honor the woman you’ve been.
To whisper “thank you” to the version of yourself who did what she could, with what she had, in the middle of all that pressure.

This is one of those moments.

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I Didn’t Want to Hurt Anyone

A few weeks ago, I found myself caught in a loop of heavy decisions.
It wasn’t that the choices were complicated—
It’s that they were connected to people I loved.

And when people you care about are involved, it can be hard to untangle what’s good for you… from what feels “right” to them.

What made this particular stretch so exhausting was that I was finally trying to honor myself too.
Not just their needs. Not just the plan. But me.

And then came the trigger moment—small, but sacred.

My best friend and I had planned to attend an event together.
It sounded beautiful: a day out, together, in celebration mode.
But as we got closer to the date, I felt that familiar anxiety creeping in—the kind that shows up when the logistics shift, the traffic thickens, and my nervous system starts to panic.

So I made a quiet request:
“Can I come early to your house to avoid the traffic stress?”

She said yes. We were good.
But then she realized she had another appointment.
She let me know the new plan—gracefully, like a good friend would.

And instead of speaking up again, I went silent.

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I Made the Decision in My Head… But Not Out Loud

I told myself:
It’s fine. Just figure it out. Don’t make a big deal out of it.

And in my own private world, I did make a decision.
I knew the new plan would overwhelm me.
I knew I didn’t have the capacity.
So I quietly decided: I’m not going.

But I never said that.
I didn’t call her.
I didn’t circle back.
I let the conversation drift.

And on the day of the event, when she was ready and I wasn’t—
I realized just how much damage silence can do.

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The Cost of Silence

I wasn’t trying to be rude.
I wasn’t being flaky.

I was just trying to avoid hurting her feelings.
But in doing so, I dishonored both of us.

She didn’t get a real chance to adjust or re-plan.
And I didn’t give myself permission to speak from my new place of clarity.

It cost me peace.
It cost her preparation.
And it cost the experience we were both hoping to enjoy.

The truth is, silence isn’t always gentle.
Sometimes, silence is the wound.
The quiet betrayal of self that looks like grace on the outside, but feels like anxiety on the inside.

That moment reminded me that when I don’t speak up from my new values, I am still making a choice—
Just not the one I want to live with.

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When Old Values No Longer Serve the Woman You’re Becoming

I’ve always prided myself on being thoughtful.
On being someone who considers everyone.
On being dependable, kind, “easy.”

But here’s the truth:
When you grow…
When you evolve…
When you start including yourself in the equation—

Some of those values need to be revisited.

What used to be “kind” now feels like self-erasure.
What used to be “flexible” now feels like anxiety.
What used to be “supportive” now feels like a betrayal of my own bandwidth.

So I sat down with myself and rewrote my list.

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The New Values I’m Practicing Now

Here’s where I’m standing in this season:

• Clear is kind. No more silent agreements that leave people confused.
  
• Peace is preparation. I make plans that support my nervous system.
  
• My capacity is a sacred boundary. I don’t override it for convenience.
  
• No is a full sentence—and an act of love.
  

It took one moment of misalignment for me to see how often I’ve overrode my truth for the sake of harmony.

Not anymore.

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A Soft Pause, Just for You

If you’re reading this and realizing that your values may need revisiting too—you’re not alone.

You’re not wrong for needing a new rhythm.
You’re not selfish for wanting space.
You’re simply evolving.

So here’s your gentle invitation:

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Journal Prompt:

What is one value you’ve outgrown—but haven’t given yourself permission to retire?
And what new value is quietly trying to take its place?

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Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

I’ll be sharing my personal “Core Values in This Season” list inside Wealthy Women Conversations. Come by. Add your voice.
There’s space for all of us to evolve without explanation.

You don’t need permission to become who you are.

You just need to pause—
and honor her.The you who stayed silent for too long.
The you who’s just now finding her voice.
The you who’s ready to speak with softness and clarity.