Turns Out, This Is the Life I Asked For—And Here’s How I’m Making Room for More (You Can Too)

Your spring reflection + a soft how-to for blooming beyond the bloom

The windows were open.
A light breeze floated in, carrying the scent of earth and newness.
My tiny herb garden sat on the windowsill—quiet, humble, and thriving.
There was fresh jam in the fridge, made by my own hands. The bread I baked last week still lingered in my memory—perfectly imperfect and full of love.

I looked around and felt it hit me deep in my chest:

“Wait… this is it.
This is the life I asked for.”

Not the rushed, performative version.
Not the filtered, forced, follow-the-rules version.
But this—
This slow, simple, joy-filled, deeply personal life where I can breathe and laugh and explore.

And the most delicious part?
It didn’t come from striving. It came from allowing.


This Life Didn’t Arrive Loudly—It Grew Quietly

This wasn’t some grand unveiling.
No life coach handed it to me.
No big win suddenly made it all click.

This came little by little.
Bread. Jam. Dirt under my nails. Laughter with girlfriends. The courage to slow down.

What I didn’t know then—but know now—is that becoming happens when we give ourselves permission to pay attention to what actually feels good, not just what looks good.


Ten Years Ago, I Was Mourning a Fantasy

At 40, I was starting therapy.
I was disappointed. Worn out. Still following all the “good girl” rules.
Waiting for the blessing to show up because I had done everything “right.”
The marriage. The degrees. The sacrifice. The silence.

But it wasn’t coming.
And deep down, I knew it.

So I grieved.
I let go.
And I started again.


At 50, I’m Celebrating What I Grew With My Own Hands

And not just herbs or jam.
But joy.
Peace.
Pleasure.
Play.
Permission.

This isn’t about the bread or the blog or the tiny garden.
It’s about the energy behind it.
It’s about showing up for myself in ways I never thought I was allowed to.

Turns out, the life I really wanted was quiet.
It was soft.
It was slow.
And it was waiting on me to stop waiting on someone else to give me permission.


So… Now What?

Now that things are blooming—literally and spiritually—what do I do next?

I make room for more.
More joy.
More softness.
More trying.
More becoming.

Because here’s what I know for sure:
When something feels good, it’s okay to let yourself want more of it.
It doesn’t make you greedy.
It doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It makes you alive.


Here’s How I’m Making Room for More (And How You Can Too)

This isn’t about doing more.
It’s about accessing more.
And that requires soft curiosity and self-connection—not pressure.

Here’s how I’m doing it this spring—and how you can too:


1. I Look Outside Myself for Inspiration

Not because I’m lost, but because I want to discover.
I watch shows like With Love, Meghan and let myself be inspired by beautiful, soft, slow things.
Black women creating joy just for the sake of joy? That’s revolutionary.

Let yourself be curious.
You don’t have to already know what you love.
Sometimes you have to see it before you recognize it in yourself.


2. I Say Yes to the Experiment

I don’t have to master it.
I don’t have to monetize it.
I just have to try it.

Herb garden? Try it.
Painting? Try it.
New playlist, new walk route, new way of styling your hair? Try it.

That’s how you grow your joy muscle.
By letting yourself play.


3. I Pay Attention to the Smile Moments

Not the big wins.
The small, quiet, “Oh that felt good” kind of moments.

When I feel it, I name it. I hold it.
I let myself want more of that.
Not more success. Not more stuff.
Just more yes moments.


4. I Add One Yummy Thing a Week

Just one.
Nothing major.

A new tea.
A morning stretch.
An evening bath with no agenda.
Reading a book that has nothing to do with productivity.

That’s how I build a life that feels luxurious in spirit—one choice at a time.


5. I Stop Waiting for Flowers and Plant My Own Joy

Listen: I love a gift.
But the greatest gift I’ve given myself is the ability to honor who I am right now.

I don’t need a holiday to love on myself.
I don’t need a partner to affirm my worth.
I don’t need a job title to define my success.

I plant my joy.
I water my soul.
I give me flowers.

And I want that for you too.


You Can Create This Life Too—Right From Where You Are

You don’t need to uproot everything.
You just need to pause.
And listen for what feels good.

Then take one step in that direction.
Just one.

You don’t have to earn your joy.
You only have to say yes to it.


Final Word

Yes—turns out, this is the life I asked for.
And I’m so proud of the woman who stayed long enough to create it.

Now? I’m making room for more.
More joy.
More softness.
More me.

And I believe you can too.


Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

What’s your version of “more” this spring?
What tiny action will you take this week to love on yourself a little louder, a little softer, a little more fully?Come share inside Wealthy Women Conversations on Facebook.
We’re giving ourselves the flowers.
We’re not waiting.
And we’re blooming—together.

2 responses to “Turns Out, This Is the Life I Asked For—And Here’s How I’m Making Room for More (You Can Too)”

  1. I love this for you, Friend! I’m so happy and grateful you are experiencing your life the way you desire it to be. It is so!

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