“You’re moving too fast, sis.”
The voice was warm, amused, and slightly knowing.
I looked up, slightly flustered, still juggling my phone, my carry-on bag, and the half-empty cup of tea I had grabbed in a rush.
I was in the lobby of a gorgeous boutique hotel, fresh off a flight, moving with the urgency of someone who was always trying to be ten steps ahead. My girlfriends were already upstairs getting ready for our rooftop dinner, and I was running late—shuffling through my purse, making mental checklists, trying to remember what I had forgotten this time.
She was watching me.
Not in a judgmental way. Not in the way people do when they don’t understand your chaos. But in the way someone watches a version of themselves they once knew.
I noticed her then.
She was standing at the check-in counter, completely unbothered, her posture soft, her energy calm. She wasn’t rushing. She wasn’t scrambling.
She was moving like she had time.
It was annoying. And fascinating.
Later, I ran into her again on the rooftop. She had a cocktail in her hand, the evening breeze teasing the soft silk of her dress. I had a Shirley Temple in mine, still feeling like my mind was racing at a different speed than the rest of the world.
She smiled when she saw me.
“Do you ever slow down?”
The Moment I Realized I Had Been Running from Myself
We started talking.
She was here for a corporate meeting; I was here for a girls’ trip. Two women, two different worlds, but somehow, we landed in the same conversation.
She told me she had walked away from the life I was still running toward.
For years, she had done all the things. Climbed the ladder. Sat at the tables. Proved herself in rooms that never fully saw her. She had been the woman I was trying to be—sharp, efficient, always ahead, always prepared, always on the move.
But then, one day, she realized:
✨ She wasn’t chasing success. She was running from herself.
✨ She wasn’t building a dream. She was avoiding stillness.
✨ She wasn’t just working hard. She was afraid of what slowing down might reveal.
And I felt that in my spirit.
Because I wasn’t just juggling bags and flights and plans. I was juggling my own inability to sit still with myself.
I had spent so much time curating the life that looked like the dream—always planning the next move, always being seen, always staying busy. But for what?
For who?
When was the last time I had actually been present in my body?
Not preparing for what’s next. Not calculating. Not making sure everything was perfect.
Just being.
She saw that in me before I could even name it in myself.
“Sis,” she said, “Luxury isn’t a white woman’s sport. We deserve softness, too.”
The Soft Life Is a Choice—And We Deserve to Make It
I was taught that success and struggle were partners.
That if you wanted something good, you had to earn it through exhaustion.
That luxury was for people who didn’t have to fight for their place in the world.
That slowing down was a privilege, not a choice.
But watching her that night, I realized that wasn’t true.
Because she had once been in the same cycle I was in.
And she had chosen to opt out.
She had chosen ease.
She had chosen rest.
She had chosen herself.
Not because she was lazy.
Not because she wasn’t ambitious.
But because she knew she was worthy of a life that felt good—now, not later.
Luxury Is Not Just for Them—It’s for Us, Too
For so long, Black women have been told that luxury is not for us.
That we have to work twice as hard.
That we have to prove ourselves before we rest.
That we can want nice things, but only if we have first suffered enough.
Enough struggle.
Enough resilience.
Enough exhaustion to justify the ease.
But who made that rule?
Black women deserve luxury.
Not because we’ve earned it.
Not because we’ve been through enough.
Not because we’ve worked harder than everyone else.
But simply because we exist.
Because we are allowed to wake up in homes that feel peaceful.
Because we are allowed to wear beautiful things on a random Tuesday.
Because we are allowed to sit at a rooftop bar with a cocktail or a Shirley Temple and just be.
We do not have to explain, justify, or apologize for wanting lives that feel soft.
We do not have to choose hustle over happiness.
How to Step Into Softness & Luxury—On Your Own Terms
If you’re reading this and realizing that you’ve been denying yourself luxury, ease, and softness, it’s time to reclaim it.
Here’s where you start:
1️⃣ Redefine What Luxury Means to You
Luxury is not just designer handbags and five-star vacations. Luxury is ease, peace, and the freedom to move through life gently.
💎 Waking up without an alarm is luxury.
💎 Drinking your morning tea slowly, without rushing is luxury.
💎 Creating a home that feels like peace is luxury.
Choose what luxury looks like for you.
2️⃣ Stop Explaining Why You Deserve It
If you want the bag, buy the bag.
If you want the vacation, book the flight.
If you want fresh flowers every week, make it happen.
You do not have to justify your desires to anyone.
3️⃣ Make “Happy” the Goal
Not productivity.
Not external validation.
Not “being the hardest worker in the room.”
Just happy.
The same way you plan for success, plan for happiness.
4️⃣ Surround Yourself With Women Who Inspire Softness
The biggest shift for me? Seeing another Black woman living a life of ease and abundance—unapologetically.
Find women who:
✨ Take time for themselves.
✨ Live in flow, not in stress.
✨ Remind you that you don’t have to work yourself into the ground to be worthy of rest.
Final Thoughts: The Luxury of Choosing You
I never saw her again.
Life moved on. We drifted. But the lesson she gave me? It changed me forever.
Because now, I wake up every day knowing:
✨ Luxury is not for the privileged few.
✨ Happiness is not something I have to earn.
✨ Choosing myself is the softest, wealthiest, happiest thing I could ever do.
So I ask you:
👉 What’s one way you can choose luxury today?
It doesn’t have to be expensive.
It doesn’t have to be flashy.
It just has to feel good.
💛 Let’s talk about it inside Wealthy Women Conversations.#SlowerWealthierHappier
#The92%
#BlackGirlMagic
#SoftLiving
#LuxuryForUsToo
#ChoosingHappy
#UnapologeticAbundance
Slower, Wealthier, Happier 
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