Slower, Wealthier, Happier

The First Lesson in Rest: My Husband’s Revolution

Eighteen years ago, after saying I do, I unknowingly walked into one of the most transformative lessons of my life.

It wasn’t about love.
It wasn’t about communication.
It wasn’t about compromise.

It was about rest.

When my husband and I first moved in together, I was in full go-go-go mode. I didn’t know any other way to exist. I was always moving, always chasing the next goal, always pushing forward. Sleep? That was for people who didn’t have things to do. Rest? That was for people who weren’t ambitious.

So imagine my absolute shock when, in our very first week of marriage, my husband looked me in the eye and said:

“Please, just rest.”

At first, I laughed. I thought he was being dramatic.

But then, when I realized he was serious, I felt frustrated. Why was he so determined to slow down? Didn’t he know that we had things to do, dreams to chase, a life to build?

I didn’t realize it then, but my resistance to rest wasn’t just about ambition. It was about trauma.

I had spent years running. Running from the hard feelings, the disappointments, the weight of unhealed wounds. If I stayed busy enough, I didn’t have to face them. If I kept moving, I didn’t have to acknowledge that I was exhausted.

But my husband? He was unapologetic about his need for rest.

And while I fought against it—while I pushed, resisted, and even felt offended by his stillness—he never wavered.

Looking back now, I realize what a revolutionary act that was.

To rest in a world that tells you that your worth is tied to your productivity?
To rest when everything around you glorifies exhaustion?
To rest when society, culture, and sometimes even your own inner voice tells you to keep going?

That is radical. That is powerful. That is necessary.

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The Guilt of Slowing Down

It took me years to unlearn my resistance to rest.

Even after my husband planted that seed, I struggled with the idea that slowing down wouldn’t mean falling behind.

Because that’s what we’re told, right? That if we stop moving, we’ll miss out. That if we pause, we’ll lose momentum.

But let me tell you something I’ve learned:

Rest doesn’t take from you. It gives to you.

Now, at 50, in my Slower, Wealthier, Happier era, I have intentionally built a life that prioritizes rest. I no longer feel guilty for taking a nap in the middle of the day if I need it. I listen to my body. I wake up when I’m rested, not just when the alarm says I should.

And you know what’s wild? I get more done now than I ever did when I was running on empty.

Because here’s the truth:
✨ When you are well-rested, your mind is sharper.
✨ When you are well-rested, your creativity flows.
✨ When you are well-rested, your spirit is more connected—to yourself, to your purpose, to God.

I hear Him more clearly when my mind isn’t clouded with exhaustion. I work better when I am full, not running on fumes. I love deeper when I’m not stretched to my limit.

I have learned that slowing down is an art. And like any art form, it takes intention, practice, and commitment.

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How to Rest When You’ve Been Conditioned to Hustle

If you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t even know how to slow down,” I see you.

I used to be you.

So here’s how to start reclaiming your right to rest:

1️⃣ Give Yourself Permission to Do Nothing

The first step is mental. You have to unlearn the belief that rest is “wasted time.”

Repeat after me:
✅ I do not have to earn my rest.
✅ I am still valuable even when I am not producing.
✅ I am worthy of a soft, rested life.

Write these down. Say them out loud. Let them sink in.

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2️⃣ Schedule Rest Like It’s an Appointment

Put it in your calendar. Block off time. Treat it with the same level of importance as a business meeting.

✨ Plan a “slow morning” at least once a week.
✨ Set a non-negotiable bedtime.
✨ Create an evening wind-down routine that signals to your body that rest is coming.

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3️⃣ Find Joy in the Smallest Moments

Rest doesn’t always mean sleep. Sometimes, it just means pausing.

💆🏾‍♀️ Sit outside and let the sun kiss your skin.
📖 Read a book with no rush to finish it.
🌿 Lay in bed a little longer in the morning, just because you can.
🛀🏾 Take a long shower or bath with your favorite scents.

The point? Intentionally create moments of stillness.

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4️⃣ Pay Attention to Your Body’s Cues

Your body is always speaking to you. But are you listening?

🛑 If you’re constantly fatigued, it’s not just “normal.” It’s your body begging for rest.
🛑 If you’re irritable, unfocused, or overwhelmed, you might not need more caffeine—you might need stillness.

Stop pushing past the exhaustion. Honor your body’s signals.

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5️⃣ Protect Your Peace Like Your Life Depends on It (Because It Does)

Rest isn’t just about sleep—it’s about protecting your energy.

That means:
🚫 Saying no to things that drain you.
🚫 Not overcommitting to obligations out of guilt.
🚫 Walking away from people and spaces that disturb your peace.

You do not have to be available to everyone all the time. Protect your rest unapologetically.

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What If You Gave Yourself the Gift of Rest?

Imagine a version of you that wakes up fully rested.

✨ A version of you that enjoys your coffee without rushing.
✨ A version of you that moves through the day with ease, not exhaustion.
✨ A version of you that is calm, joyful, and present—because you finally stopped running on empty.

What if that version of you is just one decision away?

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Final Thoughts: Rest Is Your Birthright

I look back on my husband’s quiet revolutionary act of rest and I am so grateful for it.

Because now I see it clearly:
🌿 Rest is not laziness.
🌿 Rest is not weakness.
🌿 Rest is powerful.

And as Black women—who are often expected to carry the weight of everything and everyone—rest is a radical, necessary, and life-changing act of self-love.

So I ask you:

👉 What’s one way you will choose to rest this week?

Tell me inside Wealthy Women Conversations—because we are choosing softness, choosing slowness, choosing joy.#SlowerWealthierHappier
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