The Soft Rebellion of Doing Less (And Loving Every Second of It)

I spent months saying, “I’m shifting.”
I could feel it in my bones, but I couldn’t name it.
Every conversation with my girlfriends sounded the same:
“Something’s changing, but I don’t know what.”
We were swirling. In the middle of the fog. Searching.

And then one day, I was scrolling on TikTok—just trying to pass the time—and there she was.

A beautiful Black woman, wrapped in a headscarf, sitting calmly in a garden.
She spoke slowly. Softly. Intentionally.
She said she used to be the girl who was always going, always rushing, always doing.
And then she realized that kind of movement was a trauma response.
So she stopped. She chose slow.
And everything changed.

I paused the video.
I downloaded it.
I’ve watched it over and over ever since.

Because that was the moment I finally saw my shift.
That was it.

I wasn’t becoming a soft girl, or chasing luxury, or trying to escape responsibility.
I was choosing something deeper.

I was choosing to rebel by slowing down.
And that changed everything.

It Wasn’t Obvious at First

I knew I was growing out of something.
The grind. The pace. The constant need to prove.

But I didn’t know where I was headed.
It wasn’t the “soft girl era”—even though I love soft things.
It wasn’t the Black girl luxury lane—though I absolutely enjoy a well-made cocktail and a rich moisturizer.

No, my rebellion looked a little different.

It looked like quiet.
Like no longer rushing to be everywhere.
Like not overextending myself just to prove my worth.
Like choosing to be present, even when my old self wanted to check the next thing off the list.

It looked like standing in the Dollar Tree aisle finding joy in a simple glass jar.
Like making my own jam because it brought me peace.
Like lighting a candle just for me.

My rebellion was not loud.
It was slow.
It was quiet.
And it was mine.

Slowing Down Was the Hardest—and Most Rewarding—Shift

Doing less?
It almost felt like failure at first.
Like I was giving up on potential.
On impact.
On my goals.

But what I realized is that doing less didn’t mean I was doing nothing.
It meant I was doing the right things.
The meaningful things.
The things that brought me back to myself.

I wasn’t abandoning productivity.
I was refusing to be consumed by it.

I was reclaiming my energy.
Reclaiming my time.
Reclaiming my joy.

And in that space, I found things I hadn’t noticed before.

The Kneecap Moment

This might sound small.
But if you’ve ever lived in anxiety, you’ll get it.

My husband kissed me on the kneecap.
Just a simple kiss.
His head had been resting in my lap.
And as he got up, he kissed my kneecap.

And I felt it.

I noticed it.
I received it.

Because I was present.
Because I wasn’t already ten steps ahead in my mind.
Because I wasn’t thinking about what needed to get done or who needed what from me.

I was here.
In the softness.
In the slowness.
In the kind of love that doesn’t have to shout to be profound.

I wonder how many times I’ve missed that moment before.

Doing Less Isn’t Lazy—It’s Revolutionary

Let’s tell the truth:
Black women have been taught to do the most.
To carry it all.
To keep it all going.

But there’s a quiet power in saying:
I don’t have to.

I don’t have to answer every call.
I don’t have to fill every gap.
I don’t have to go just because I’m invited.

I can choose ease.
I can choose rest.
I can choose slow.

And still be powerful.
Still be productive.
Still be whole.

What Slowing Down Gave Me

Slowing down gave me presence.
It gave me peace.
It gave me my power back.

Because when I stopped trying to outrun time, I realized I had more of it than I thought.

I stopped living in the past.
Stopped anxiously chasing the future.
And finally met myself in the now.

That was the gift.

That was the rebellion.

You Can Choose This Too

If you’re tired of being tired…
If you’ve been wondering why everything feels like a blur…
If you’ve been searching for your shift…

Maybe it’s not a new job.
Maybe it’s not a new business.
Maybe it’s not a new version of yourself to perform.

Maybe it’s a return.
To stillness.
To truth.
To you.

Maybe the rebellion isn’t in doing more.
Maybe it’s in doing less—and loving every second of it.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

If you felt this deep in your spirit, let’s keep talking.
Come join me inside Wealthy Women Conversations where we’re reclaiming softness, celebrating slowness, and living Slower, Wealthier, Happier—together.

Slower, Wealthier, Happier