In 2023, I decided puzzles were going to be the thing.
The thing that would bring my husband and I together for quiet moments.
The thing we could do side-by-side on Sundays.
The thing that felt slow, intentional, connected.
I had a whole plan.
Bought the first three puzzles in January.
A puzzle for each month.
A little glass of wine. Maybe a playlist. Soft music. Conversation over cardboard pieces.
I had a vision, okay?
I was ready.
And my husband?
Let’s just say… he was not as ready.
I’m a Puzzle Girl. He’s Not.
We are so different in how we unwind.
I love the quiet, concentrated rhythm of puzzles. It’s soothing to me. Grounding. A kind of meditation. I could do them for hours.
So when I brought the idea up, he was sweet. He smiled. He said, “Sure.”
But by the time we started the second puzzle, I could tell: this was not going to be our “thing.”
He’d show up, sit down for a few minutes, maybe get a couple of corner pieces in.
Then he’d quietly slide away and say, “You’ve got this.”
By month four, I was puzzling alone.
By month six, I stopped pretending we were doing them together.
And honestly? I laughed about it. I still laugh.
Because while I was trying to build a beautiful, slow ritual to share, what I really discovered was that our happiness doesn’t live in one shared moment—it lives in honoring all the different pieces of who we are.
We’re Not Meant to Be One Thing
That puzzle moment reminded me of something big:
I’m a puzzle girl.
But I’m also a movie date girl.
A brunch girl.
A let’s-try-something-new-and-see-how-it-goes girl.
A dance-in-the-living-room girl.
A whiskey-sipping, garden-growing, journal-writing, playlist-building girl.
There isn’t one version of me that tells the whole story.
And trying to make myself—or my relationship—fit into one container, one ritual, one “this is the way we connect” box wasn’t it.
The truth is, we are gumbo.
A slow, rich, flavorful blend of many things that make us feel alive.
The Real Wealth is in the Layering
When I think about what it means to live a slower, wealthier, happier life, I don’t picture a minimalist, one-note existence. I picture depth. I picture variety. I picture the kind of life that makes space for all of you.
Because the real luxury isn’t simplicity.
The real luxury is being able to try, explore, and gather pieces of yourself without needing to justify any of it.
You’re allowed to be all the things:
- A quiet morning woman and a midnight creative
- A nature girl and a Netflix binger
- A financial powerhouse and a nap-taking softie
- A woman who loves group travel and solo dates at a cafe
You don’t have to pick one.
You don’t have to reduce yourself to one interest, one aesthetic, one version of “who you are.”
You are not a brand.
You are a Black woman in full bloom.
You are gumbo.
And Sometimes the People We Love Won’t Get It
My husband didn’t fall in love with puzzles.
But he still sat next to me.
Still encouraged my joy.
Still dropped in a few pieces here and there like, “I got you, but I’m not about to lie—I don’t love this.”
And that’s real love too.
We don’t need everyone in our lives to match us perfectly.
We need people who give us room to be ourselves.
And we need to give ourselves that same room.
Happiness Isn’t One Flavor. It’s the Whole Pot.
If you’ve been telling yourself that you need to narrow down who you are in order to feel better, be more consistent, or feel more “on brand”—I want to gently interrupt that.
What if your happiness lives in the mix?
What if the real joy is in tasting different things, seeing what sticks, honoring the season you’re in?
Maybe this is your herb gardening season.
Maybe this is your puzzle season.
Maybe it’s your “take myself out and order the expensive drink” season.
Let it be layered. Let it be rich.
Let it be yours.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
Feeling this? Me too.
Join me inside my private Facebook group, Wealthy Women Conversations, where we’re talking about all the real, beautiful, complex ways we’re showing up for ourselves this season.
You don’t have to do it alone.
You just have to show up as you.
Slower, Wealthier, Happier 
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