The Little Garden That’s Teaching Me to Love Myself Better

I screamed.
Like, a full out, hand-over-the-mouth, what-is-happening kind of scream.

It wasn’t because something was wrong.
It was because something was… growing.

Literally.

The herb garden I planted with my girlfriends—a fun, casual little project we did together—had sprouted. One day it was just dirt. The next day, there were tiny green buds breaking through the soil like they’d been waiting for their cue.

And when I saw it—I lost it.

Not in a bad way.
In a shaken-at-my-core kind of way.

Because yes, I know food comes from the ground.
Yes, I understand that inside a seed is life.
Yes, I know that someone, somewhere, is growing and harvesting the herbs we pick up at the store.

But I had never seen it happen—not with my own hands, not on my own terms.

And watching something grow because I tended to it,
Because I chose to slow down long enough to plant something real…
It did something to me.

I Still Don’t Have the Words for It—But It’s Changing Me

I took pictures. I sent them to my girlfriends who had joined me for our little herb garden party.
“Are y’all freaking out too?” I asked them.
Because I needed to know that I wasn’t the only one having a spiritual experience watching basil push its way through the dirt.

It felt like watching a miracle.
No, it was a miracle.

And here’s what I realized:

This is the first time I’ve ever slowed down long enough to grow something with my own hands.
Not just metaphorically. Literally.

This isn’t a parable or a motivational quote on Instagram.
This is me, walking by my kitchen window and watching life unfold in a pot of soil I planted.

For Most of My Life, I’ve Been a “Worker Bee”

Black women know this hustle well.
We work, we provide, we show up, we fix things.

We sacrifice our time, our rest, our joy—sometimes even our identities—in service of everyone and everything around us.

We are the help in every room we enter.
Until we decide we’re not.

And I’ll be honest: this little garden has been whispering truths to me louder than any therapist ever could.

It’s showing me that growth is not about pushing.
It’s not about performing.
It’s not about forcing.

It’s about tending.
It’s about creating space.
It’s about trusting that life is happening, even when it looks like nothing is.

Small Things Matter. Especially When You’re Growing.

What’s wild is how much growth happens when we stop hovering.
How those herbs didn’t need my constant attention—just enough light, enough water, and enough trust.

And the parallel to my own life? Whew.
I’ve spent so much of my life overwatering things—relationships, work, dreams, roles.
Trying to control the outcome instead of trusting the process.

But this garden?
It’s teaching me to be gentle.
To pause.
To expect beauty.

And more than anything else, it’s teaching me that my capacity to nurture extends to myself.

Loving Myself Doesn’t Always Look Like Spa Days or Journals

Sometimes, it looks like planting basil.
Or watching mint leaves unfurl slowly, silently, without needing an audience.

Sometimes it looks like talking to the tiny green things on your windowsill because you’re learning how to talk to yourself with kindness.

Sometimes it looks like realizing you don’t need more productivity—you need more presence.

And maybe that’s the real win here.
This garden is teaching me how to be present with myself.

You Don’t Need a Backyard to Grow Something That Nourishes You

Look—I know not everyone has space for a garden.
But I also know that growth doesn’t require acreage.

You don’t need a perfect setup.
You don’t need gardening gloves and fancy soil.
You don’t even need a green thumb.

You just need a willingness to try.
To slow down.
To watch something change in front of your eyes—and know you were part of it.

And whether that’s herbs or healing or happiness—you deserve to watch something grow just for you.

Spring Is a Season, But It’s Also a Spirit

This season has me reflecting on how much of my life has been winter.
Cold. Dry. Surviving.
Going through the motions.

But now? Now I’m choosing spring.

I’m choosing to plant.
To water.
To be surprised by joy.

And I want that for you too.

A Soft Challenge for Your Soul

What’s something small you can grow this season?

Not for anyone else. Not for Instagram.
Just for you.

Maybe it’s a basil plant on your windowsill.
Maybe it’s five minutes of stillness every morning.
Maybe it’s a new way of speaking to yourself—more gentle, more gracious.

Whatever it is, let this be your permission slip.
Start it. Water it. Watch what happens.

It might just change you too.

Final Word

This little garden isn’t just teaching me how to care for plants.
It’s teaching me how to care for me.

With gentleness.
With time.
With belief that even when it looks like nothing is happening—something beautiful is on its way.

And sis, so is yours.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

Have you planted anything lately—on your windowsill, in your life, or in your heart?
Come share your growth inside Wealthy Women Conversations on Facebook.

We’re all tending to something.
And we’re all learning that loving ourselves might be the most radical thing we ever grow.

Slower, Wealthier, Happier