Say it with me: I am a genius.
No, for real. Say it. Out loud.
I am a genius.
And I don’t mean that in a humble brag way. I don’t mean that in the way society tells you to say it quietly, with a polite little smile and a “who, me?” attitude. No, I mean it in the bold, undeniable, stand-in-your-power, own-your-magic, take-up-space kind of way.
I am a genius.
I am amazing at what I do.
I am brilliant in the spaces I serve.
I am worthy of the success, joy, ease, and luxury that I desire.
But here’s the problem: I didn’t always know that.
I spent years—YEARS—outside of myself, chasing what I already had inside of me. I spent years twisting, shrinking, molding, shifting—trying to be what they said I should be. Trying to find the secret formula for success. The magic key to happiness. The golden path to wealth.
I searched for it in books, in degrees, in certifications, in business moves, in networking circles, in church pews, in late-night prayers. And yet, no matter how many accolades I stacked, how much knowledge I gained, how many rooms I got into—something still felt missing.
Because I was always looking outside of myself for something that had been inside me the entire time.
When Success Feels Like Struggle, Something Is Wrong
Turning 40 was my first wake-up call.
I had achieved everything I was told would make me happy. I had checked all the boxes. I was in the rooms I dreamed of. I was leading. I was being sought after. I was respected. People looked to me for answers.
But I was tired.
I was anxious.
I was not okay.
I was losing sleep.
I was feeling alone in rooms full of people.
I was overworked and underwhelmed by my own life.
And worst of all? I thought that was normal.
Because in the world I was raised in, struggle was supposed to be part of the process.
I was taught—explicitly and implicitly—that you had to earn your joy through suffering. That after years of pushing, grinding, crying, sacrificing, praying, fasting, fixing, being good, working hard—then, maybe then, you’d get to the part where life got easier.
But here’s the truth: That part never comes if you don’t choose it.
There is no magic finish line where life suddenly hands you ease after decades of pain. There is no point where struggle transforms into softness just because you endured it long enough.
Struggle is not a prerequisite for success.
Burnout is not a badge of honor.
Suffering is not a spiritual requirement for joy.
And realizing that? That pissed me off.
The Grief of Unlearning the Struggle Mindset
Therapy became my lifeline. I spent years peeling back layers of belief systems that were never mine to begin with. I started unpacking where all these ideas came from—who told me that I had to suffer to be successful? Who made me believe that I had to prove my worth before I could experience happiness?
And I grieved.
I grieved all the years I spent fighting battles I didn’t have to fight.
I grieved all the times I took the harder road when an easier path was right there.
I grieved all the moments I ignored my own genius because I was looking for someone else to validate it.
I grieved all the unnecessary struggle I had accepted as part of my journey.
And when I finally let go of the struggle, something incredible happened.
I stopped forcing.
I stopped striving.
I stopped looking for something to fix.
I stopped needing to prove my worth through exhaustion.
And I started living.
Soft Living Isn’t Weak—It’s Power
Let’s be clear: Soft living is NOT about laziness. It is NOT about passivity. It is NOT about avoiding responsibility or ambition.
Soft living is about choosing ease where ease exists.
It is about flow over force.
It is about receiving instead of always chasing.
It is about understanding your worth so deeply that you no longer feel the need to prove it through struggle.
Soft living means:
✔️ Saying NO to things that drain you.
✔️ Choosing REST without guilt.
✔️ Making MONEY in ways that feel aligned.
✔️ Prioritizing PEACE over validation.
✔️ Living a life that actually FEELS as good as it looks.
I don’t have to hustle myself into the ground to prove I am worthy of the things I desire.
I don’t have to exhaust myself to be considered a hard worker.
I don’t have to suffer first before I get to experience joy.
I get to have it now.
And so do you.
Choosing a Softer, Slower, Wealthier Life
I built my life around struggle because that’s what I was taught.
Now? I’m building my life around joy, freedom, and abundance.
And let me tell you—it’s so much better over here.
If you’re still living in the mindset that life has to be hard before it gets good, I want you to pause and ask yourself:
- Who told me that?
- Where did that belief come from?
- What would my life look like if I simply allowed ease?
Because here’s what I know now: Life doesn’t have to be hard to be meaningful.
Ease is available to you.
Luxury is available to you.
Joy is available to you.
Wealth—real wealth, the kind that doesn’t just live in your bank account but in your spirit—is available to you.
And you don’t have to earn it through suffering.
You just have to say yes to it.
Let’s Talk
Are you still operating in struggle mode? Are you still waiting for permission to choose ease?
Drop a comment below or join Wealthy Women Conversations, where we’re redefining success, happiness, and abundance—on OUR terms.
And if you’re ready to unlearn the struggle mindset, grab a “Soft Life Journal” (you can find them on Amazon) to help you unpack the beliefs that are keeping you in fight mode and step into a life of flow.
Final Word: You Deserve a Life That Feels Good
The biggest lie we’ve been told is that life has to be hard before it gets good.
But guess what? It can be good now. It can be soft now.
And I’m no longer waiting for permission to have it.
Neither should you.
Slower, Wealthier, Happier 
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