There was a time when being the go-to person, the one who could do it all, meant everything to me. The big rooms, the bright lights, the packed schedules, and the never-ending cycle of “what’s next” fueled my ambition and gave me a sense of accomplishment. But something shifted. And if I’m being honest, it’s been shifting for a while now.
Recently, a good friend—someone I deeply admire and have worked with for years—reached out to me while planning her 2025 calendar. She hosts these phenomenal events every year, drawing in crowds, building momentum, and making a powerful impact in our community. I’ve always been right there, ready to roll, prepared to give my all to whatever role she needed me to play.
But this time? This time I paused.
As she explained her new vision—more events, more frequent appearances, more energy required—I could feel something inside me tugging in a different direction. I realized that while I could show up, while I could do it all, I no longer wanted to. And that realization hit me hard.
Letting Go of the Superwoman Complex
For years, I wore the badge of “doing it all” like an honor. But at what cost? The late nights, the missed moments with my loved ones, the constant pressure to perform, and the endless push to prove that I belonged in the spaces I worked so hard to enter.
Somewhere along the way, I confused success with speed. I believed that the faster I moved, the more I achieved, the more valuable I was. And like so many Black women, I carried the weight of expectation—ours and theirs—believing that slowing down meant falling behind.
But here’s the truth: Slowing down doesn’t mean I’m losing—it means I’m winning in ways that actually matter to me.
Slow Success: Redefining What Matters
Declining my friend’s offer wasn’t easy. It’s not easy to walk away from things that once felt like they defined you. But saying “no” to her event calendar wasn’t a rejection of her or even the work. It was an embrace of something new—something I’m learning to value more and more: slow success.
Slow success looks like:
- Choosing quality over quantity. I no longer want to spread myself thin. I want depth, not just reach.
- Being fully present. Whether it’s in my home, with my husband, or in my personal passions, I want to be there—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too.
- Enjoying life beyond the hustle. I’m making space for slow living, where small joys—like baking bread, taking a walk, or having intimate conversations—bring me fulfillment.
- Honoring where I am now. I’m no longer in a place where the rush excites me; I crave intentionality, peace, and things that align with my evolving values.
There was a time when large rooms and bright lights fed my ambition, but now I long for smaller, more meaningful spaces where I can make a real impact—without sacrificing myself in the process.
Giving Yourself Permission to Evolve
What I’ve learned is that choosing to slow down doesn’t mean I’m any less ambitious or capable. It simply means that I’m evolving. And sometimes, evolution means letting go of what no longer serves you—even when it’s something you once loved.
If you’re reading this and you’re feeling that same pull—whether it’s stepping away from responsibilities that no longer align with you, scaling back commitments that drain you, or simply giving yourself permission to want something different—I want you to know:
It’s okay to change.
It’s okay to step away.
It’s okay to choose yourself.
There is no shame in wanting a different pace. You’ve proven yourself enough already. Now it’s time to nurture yourself, too.
How to Start Slowing Down—On Your Own Terms
If you’re feeling like you’ve been running on autopilot, doing everything because you can but not because you want to, here are a few ways to start slowing down and choosing a path that truly fits your desires:
- Pause Before Saying Yes.
- The next time an opportunity comes your way, take a moment. Ask yourself: Does this align with the life I want to create? If the answer isn’t an easy yes, it’s probably a no.
- Evaluate What Fills You vs. What Drains You.
- Make a list of the things that energize you and the things that exhaust you. You’ll quickly see where your focus should be.
- Reframe What Success Means to You.
- Success doesn’t have to be fast-paced, overwhelming, or all-consuming. Success can look like peace, joy, and intentional living.
- Set Boundaries and Stick to Them.
- Whether it’s work, family, or social commitments, establish boundaries that protect your time and energy.
- Celebrate the Small Wins.
- Slowing down doesn’t mean you’re doing less. It means you’re focusing on what truly matters—and that’s worth celebrating.
Slowing Down is a Revolution
In a world that tells us to do more, be more, and give more, choosing to slow down is a radical act. It’s an act of self-love, self-preservation, and intentional living.
I’m choosing a slower, wealthier, happier life. And if that means stepping away from the chaos, from the relentless pursuit of being everywhere and everything, then so be it.
Let’s Talk
Are you feeling the pull to slow down? To step away from the hustle and embrace a life that feels more meaningful? Let’s have this conversation.
Drop a comment below or join the Wealthy Women Conversations community, where we’re talking about slowing down, finding joy, and living on our terms.
Remember: You can do it all, but the real question is—do you want to? And if the answer is no, it’s time to honor that and start creating the life you truly desire.
Because you deserve a life that feels good to you.
Slower, Wealthier, Happier 
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